The drunking of a magical mascot
by cko2
Summary: This is pure crack with a very weird cross with magical girls and goddess and the drunk rambling of a mascot who has to deal with a goddess who is very much not right in the head when giving Taylor magical girl powers. It was meant to funny funny, might come across as very stupid. But sometimes ideas have to go somewhere. I know someone if going to be offended bu this. Its a joke.


The Drunken ramblings of a Magical Girl Mascot.

By: CKO2

Authors notes. After reading a bunch of Worm fic's on Sufficient Velocity that make Taylor a Magical girl of some type I had to do my own take and my muse showed up to work and would not let me go till I made some notes on this and have been thinking about how to write this up for the better part of a week. This story is going to from the point of view of the sidekick and his background as a magical girl provider and the current actions of his current charge and the much screwed up things that are going on. I am sure someone is going to find the idea a bit warped. This is meant to be funny and very humor for the idea of borrowing from a couple of different hero and magical girl shows. The posts are going to be in the form of a bunch of posts on the message board and breaking the 4th wall with the mascot into acting with everyone in the thread about his life and actions. So everything that he talks about happens off screen and he will be talking to everyone in the tread. So everything that gets posted in the tread is his talking to them. Magical multiverse sparkly bullshit is the idea and the Mascot needed to vent about things somewhere no one would be able to hear in his current world. Besides, we can blame a Sailor Pluto somewhere and some way for this to happen. Because Pluto somewhere screwed up somehow I think. The way I am planning this story is the whole thing is going to be from the point of view of the Mascot talking about the things he does and have to put up with from breaking the 4th wall you could say. So anything I post is from his point of view in this tread for this story and the entire thread becomes a part of this story.

My name is Fred. I am the support to magical girls and have the powers to make them and get them started and support them in their job. I have been doing this for the better part of three hundred years. I am a three foot tall teddy bear that is brown and with black button eyes. I have had to deal with way to many girls over the years and you see some good, some bad, some really dumb ones, and some that I have had to take their powers away from them. I have had 5 die in the line of duty 3 I have had to strip their powers from them. In one case, I have one family though 3 in different generations of grandmother, mother and then daughter over the course of 50 years. I start with the ages of girls from years old though 15 years old. They last anywhere from 2 years though 10 years in some cases. The shortest was about 2 days before she quit. I have been to many worlds and different tech levels and different ideas and settings. I have seen everything from a bit high tech to downright mid-evil in some cases. In any case, I have had the family support the girl, some family's try to kill her if she comes out to them or throw her out of the house. Not all the girls come out to their parents that they now have to fight some type of evil. It does help in a lot of cases and I try to feel out the family before I choose someone. In one very weird case the girl asked her dad before choosing and he forbid it. He took the mantel himself and let's just says I still have nightmares of that moment. I think in your world with the internet you have someone called Sailor Bubba; let's just leave it at that for fighting evil. His enemy's never could deal with out laughing or tossing their lunch. Seeing a demon tossing their lunch is not a fun sight.

As for what I do and chase in some cases. I get a message from my higher ups about a world that needs something to be dealt with and then get sent off with a list of girls to study and then chose one to become our local agent to fight whatever things that pop up that needs to be dealt with. It could be demons, insects, cards, yumo, and other world invaders that come up with each world that needs to be dealt with. As for why I do this job, it is not for the pay that's for sure. Besides, someone has to stand up and deal with the forces of evil and hold the ground for people to be able to sleep at night. I am also someone that likes to take care of my girls and get them support also and to pay them for their times in some way. It could be some money for them, could be helping their family with food and medical help, paying for college or helping them to go to a better school. Weather they come out to their family I make sure that there is some type of help for them and that they can get someone to talk to cause I can only do so much for support and since this is a combat job I have someone to setup to help them cope with the mental stress that this job comes with.

And that is how we come to my current job and newest charge. Let's just say this one has pretty much screwed me over in more ways then I care to think. Let's just say I have to crawl into a bottle a lot to deal with the stress of this world and this family that I have dealt with. Its dealing with my current charges mother and this world that pretty much caused me to become a drunk a lot of times since my charge pretty much does not really deal with me that much and deals with me mother more than myself. Yes, this world my charge has come out to her mother and when I learned who and what she was, I really should have run screaming for a different job. My bosses do not pay me enough to deal with the mom on a daily basis.

Welcome to a new world that is that is based on Worm. Somewhere in the multiverse you are reading this rant from a drunken sidekick on your computer or phone wondering why he is talking about dealing with you while you read what he posts. I have to vent about the crap I deal with and having some trolls that are not on this world works the best to save what is left on my sanity. I tossed out a link to some world somewhere for help and yours is the one the link ended up grabbing into your computer network and this message board system. Congrats on dealing with my drunk ramblings now from just one of the many Worm worlds that get to deal with too many gangs, a very dark setting, space worms, Things that kill everyone every three months, and lots of people with superpowers out to tear it down, crap on it and some trying to say the world. And I got to start a magical girl in all this to save the fragging world from itself. And that leads to the start of many issues I have had to deal with that really makes this job on this world one hell of a headache.

Let's start with how this world changes from one that you might know or have seen in other fanfics. Let's just setup that someone is writing all about us somewhere and all this as a story. Other places this could be an anime, a manga, or book, or a movie or even a TV show in all kinds of different worlds with home many parts of the multiverse there are. You could say this might be one of those setting where everything happens off screen and you get the recap here. Or the setup from my notes of what the hell happened after the fact for an after action report you could say. If this is making your brain hurt as much as mine does, deal with it and suck it up Buttercup! And now we can get to some of the players and how they changed and what is different than cannon everyone knows and loves to hate.

Danny Herbert is still alive and married. He is still the father to Talyor. Now this is where things get really screwed up. I have not asked who is the mother of my charge is and I really do not care. As for the mom and my charge, we will get back to them.

The world as you know it for them most part still sucks and Arms is still a giant dick along with most of the PRT. The Empire still is as bunch of little Neo-Nazis running around being dicks. The A88 under lung still are fighting over anything. The Mercanti under Skidmarks who really needs to be turned into one is still dealing with drugs. The idiot called coil is still here and the Under hivers are still going strong. And you still have the Endbringers playing smash and grab every few mouths doing their own things also. Yes, I am jumping around with this listing of things. I am drunk, so deal with it and my wondering mind. If you do not like it, BITE ME!

Danny's wife is not even human in this world. She is a damn Goddess; I meant that for real. 1st class, Unlimited type Goddess of very kinky sex. Yes, you heard that right. She drives me nuts with how very open and screwed up she is for her lot. Her quote for being in this world, she is on a 100 year vacation from her normal job. Her name is Yams, Goddess of kinky sex. Not sure which sect she comes from as she has never got around to answering that. She works as a Sex therapist of all things, heaven forbid doing something like an English Teacher or something plain by day. She does have a cape setup that is very well known and hated by everyone, hero and bad guy. The SM Queen, with black PVC bodysuit, mask, elbow length gloves, thigh high 6inch heel boots and a whip or riding crop as her mood suits her. Her powers, she creates chains and other things to hold someone down, and then publicly spanking them for being annoying. She has pretty much spanked everyone around her at some point in the past 20 years or so. She only does thing when someone makes her made or annoys her does her really go out of her way to fight anyone. She is the only person that has caused the big white winged bitch Endbringer to run screaming away after an attack that she just happened to be on vacation when the Endbringer showed up. The SM Queen made the comment about showing her what I would do with her to her Pre-cog sight. Needless to say, she would not come down from orbit for a year after that. Yams always tell Ami and her sister though every time they come across her path to share their love for each other. The sputtering and comments she gets a kick out for some reason. She also loves to offer Arms master that she is willing to buy to hookers for him to get laid and get the stick out of his ass. She is the only person that outside of her uniform that can pretty much go anywhere in this city and not get attacked or screwed with. She is pretty much like Belldandy and Kasmismi from their animes or worlds in being nice for the most part and has this aura that no one likes to make mad. It's known among the underworld that is you hear a women say OH MY! Run for your life. She is going to make you sit down for tea and cookies and read you the riot act for what you are doing wrong with your life and how to fix it. It worst then prison, I know, I have had to go though it a few times. This leads to one last thing to comment about her before moving on to my charge. Yams and Danny have been married for about 15 years at this point. She pretty much told Danny that she could not have a child because of her Goddess being while on vacation. So she found someone to have a child with Danny and that was how Taylor came about. Not sure who the woman was and I am not asking who the person was.

Now we get to my current charge and the headache that she is. Meet Taylor, age 10. The current magical girl that I have to fight the good fight in this world….I really wish I could find someone else for this job or even get someone else to take over being her mentor right now. IS it so bad when you walk into a store toss a 20 on the counter and they hand you a bottle of booze and do not even blink at this point with how many times I go to the places' round here for something strong to deal with the stress of her and her mother. This all started with meeting Taylor for the first time. It was the comments about I want to talk to my mother about the outfit and powers. Most of the times I let the girl pick and choose what works for that world and who she is. There are some girls that hate certain colors and do not work well with certain powers that we keep in our power setups. It took a couple of days for them to choose. This has led me to being on Dragons short list of people who she hates cause of the uniform choice. I had nothing to do with the outfit and I never quite know what it going to turn out like till they power up for the first time even when they do out outfit them. This all leads back to her mother being the goddess of kinky sex. How many people do you know would show their than 9 year old daughter henti. Her bloody outfit is right out of Kako Karman. Switch the red for black and the chucks for a riding crop or whip depending on her mood and you pretty much have the new SM Princess. Yes, that is her name and I was told deal with it. Are you going to fight a Goddess over that and who has to the power to crush you like a zit? This has led to me being the most hated person on the PRO boards because every time she goes out in public someone takes pics and tries to upload and dragon has to ban that person. I keep saying I had nothing to do with her lack out of outfit, but no one believes me at this point and I have given up and I go get drunk at this point so do not have to heard about. I know it's not the way a hero maker should be. But after the past damn year dealing with this crap. It's too damn much. The SM Queen does not see a problem with her outfit and even the bad guys had to deal with one to many MUFF ATTACK! Yes, that is name of her one attack and I think you know where this is going for the idea….I have gotten to the point of keeping a bottle handy when the Queen and the Princess to out for a night on the town. I just kind of flout behind them drinking and trying to ignore what's going on with them. I keep getting asked by both of them if I would be willing to empower Emma, but after this crap I think I am going to file for leave and get someone else to take over because of insanity at this point. It's getting me man and this just gets more nuts when you get asked to add more girls to this…. Needless to say the comment about why don't you do it to Yams set her off thinking about making a magical girl of her own and I am not liking the idea of what she would come up with for Emma to have her join them. THE HORROR OF THAT JUST WANTS ME TO CRAP MYSELF IF I COULD!


End file.
